After I dug an enormous monetary gap at my Sacco to purchase my ‘new’ secondhand Volkswagen Passat, my singular intention was to pacify my Queen and prime up my marital nirvana bonga factors. Nicely, I bought greater than I had bargained for in not solely the household entrance but additionally in the entire of Completely happy Valley.
Within the palace, the place it issues most, Queen’s every day assaults on my Volkswagen Beetle (Concorde) and I are actually previous tense. “Finally one can breathe contemporary air! You will have lined the household disgrace. I’m now snug being related to you. However I hope I’m the one one related to the brand new automobile!” Queen stated.
“Thanks my pricey. I did it purposely for no person else however you,” I stated.
You see, proudly owning a car of any form, age, identify and style in Completely happy Valley is a protracted story. Now, proudly owning a German machine, and a Passat at that, the very automobile that the minister for finance rides in through the annual ritual of studying the nationwide funds, is an unprecedented act of displaying one’s manly and monetary biceps.
At Completely happy Valley Grills, I’ve been essentially the most trending subject within the oral and social media platforms within the final two weeks. My social, political and monetary ranking has risen astronomically, incomes me the celebrated title of DC. These sides, the identify county commissioner has not bought into our vocabulary; we nonetheless seek advice from them as DCs (District Commissioners).
“Mkubwa! That automobile is advertising and marketing us to the entire world. Folks will know that ladies of Completely happy Valley gave delivery to a bull,” stated Mrembo. “You’re driving a DC’s automobile. No! You’re a DC!” she added.
I’ve identified Mrembo since I began the taxi enterprise and I might inform that she was talking from the depth of her coronary heart.
“You will have eliminated phrases from my mouth. That German machine is putting Completely happy Valley someplace seen within the map of Mt. Kenya. Really, our member of parliament was asking me yesterday who the proprietor of the automobile is,” stated Kimunya.
Though I do know he’s jealous of my promotion, he can not dare to contradict Mrembo lest he’s proven the door. As you effectively know, Kimunya has at all times feared that I’ll snatch Mrembo from him. And now with my prestigious Passat and consequent promotion to ‘DC’, his worry will develop tenfold, however that’s his personal funeral. That’s the value to pay for being a mfugo (a saved man).
“Yenyewe hiyo gari inauzia watu uoga. Mr. Survivor amepanda, sasa ni DC,” stated Mhesh.
“Thanks very a lot Mhesh. Mambo ni kujaribu tu,” I stated.
“Now we’ve a decent automobile to make use of when occurring particular events like dowry fee. Persons are obtained and handled relying on the way in which they arrive. Hii inauza uoga,” stated Professor.
The three males are inventory characters in dowry paying journeys in Completely happy Valley, incomes them the apt and hilarious title of marriage brokers.
As I write this missive, I’ve already attended two dowry excursions within the final two Saturdays and I’m totally booked within the 4 coming consecutive Saturdays. From the look of issues, and as December beckons, I can’t have a free Saturday as much as Christmas time.
At Mrembo’s, I used to be instantly promoted and admitted to the chosen few membership of elders that achieve entry to Mumbi Home, a reserved members’ solely room within the bar. Members of this room embrace the deputy county commissioner, the OCPD, main entrepreneurs, and elected politicians. It’s on this room that the world MP meets his ‘males of hand’ when he has come to distribute training bursaries to the hoi polloi of Completely happy Valley. The lady rep, the senator and the governor additionally make political stopovers and sittings on this home.
“Welcome to the home of ‘ten elders’. You will have washed your palms and so you’ll be able to eat with the elders,” stated Professor. He’s the ‘chairman’ of the Sanhedrin of Completely happy Valley. The Sanhedrin units the social, financial and political agenda of Completely happy Valley. In his place, he’s mechanically the lead marriage dealer of Completely happy Valley.
And though I’m not extraordinarily intelligent, I’m not that daft as to not odor the aroma of espresso. I can let you know that I’ll make most use of the chance that has offered itself. With an avenue to fulfill the governor one-on-one; maybe garnering for a young within the transport and roads division, which is in step with my human transport enterprise, won’t be a tough discount. Watch this house.
That’s yours actually, Mr Survivor, the brand new ‘DC’ of Completely happy Valley.